family on the beach at sunset

Heart to Heart

Have you ever heard the phrase, let’s have a heart to heart talk? This is used when a defining moment in the relationship is needed. 

Have you been there? 

Of course, because in any relationship that has value, heart to heart moments are needed and will happen. 

To go further with this, having a healthy family requires us to have ongoing heart to heart moments together. This is how we grow to new depths, and it’s how we stay connected to one another.

Have you noticed how many things are competing for our hearts?

Our pace, gadgets, schedule, expectations, responsibilities, and more are adding to the fierce competition of our heart. The truth is, right now more than ever, families are not connected and moreover, they are drifting apart. 

A new study said the average family spends eleven seconds together as a group. Most families, couples, parents and kids do not spend time together, let alone have heart to heart talks. But this is exactly what is needed if we’re going to grow in honesty, transparency and a loving bond. 

We have to remember, if we’re not having heart to heart moments, someone else will with our family, and that can bring disaster. 

We all want heart to heart connections!

This is because God made us to be in community and to need community. We thrive when we feel safe and when this happens, we open up and start really talking.  

Having heart to heart moments, reveal who we are and where we are.

Proverbs 27:19 says it this way, 

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.”

Proverbs 27:19


Notice, the heart reveals the real person. Intimacy can be defined as, in to me you see. This is where we form a bond that cannot be broken. 

But this is also why the enemy of our lives and families is seeking to stop heart to heart moments with each other, and instead have them with the wrong people. When this happens, we not only drift from each other, but we can also end up in wrong places with wrong people.

It’s so important for us to have these moments with our family. It keeps the wrong out and lets God in.

Another reason why we need heart to heart moments is, healing. When we reveal the real person, healing comes through that confession. 

This is why I say often, to be forgiven we confess our sins to God. To be healed, we confess our sins to others.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”.

James‬ ‭5:16

Notice, when we open up our heart, we’re healed, and we empower others to pray for us. It’s an invitation for someone to come into our world and pray for a real issue. This is a part of our healing. 

How much healing, protection and power from God will come into our families when we have heart to heart moments with them? 

We need this, I need this, and you need this. 

So here are two practical steps to facilitate heart to heart moments.

First, have a set time to be together. This is a date with your spouse and a set time with your kids. I believe when we make the time, God will give the moment. Our part, is to make the time. 

It’s my encouragement to schedule this. Don’t let it be whenever. You decide and do it. God will meet you there.

Second, bring the whole family together on a consistent basis. This could we be a set night for dinner, or a monthly gathering for those with older children. Whatever you can do, make it normal to be together as a family. 

I also encourage you to have a plan when you’re together. This doesn’t mean you’re robotic, but you can have a plan that facilitates laughter, fun, and a meaningful direction with your time together.

This is important, because it’s easy to talk about nothing and have wasted moments; therefore, a plan can help lead to a meaningful time together. Don’t get me wrong, talking about nothing can build trust, and it’s needed at some level. The thing is, you don’t want to talk about nothing every time you’re together, because then there’s a block from real talk. 

If your family resists this, take it slow and begin small. Don’t overdo it, and please don’t be overbearing. This is simply a way to guide the flow of the time together. 

The goal is the safety to have heart to heart moments, which requires us to create that space. Intentionality to be together will lead into the intentional moments you want. 

So I ask you, are you having heart to heart moments with your family?

If your answer is no, please start to today. Your family is worth it. 

If your answer is yes, please do it more. Your family is worth it.

Heart to heart is where we are revealed and healed. This is what we want and this is what our family wants too.

You can do this and God is with you!


Pastor David Norris

Subscribe to Pastor David’s Email List

Receive the latest leadership blog articles, speaking event, and book release updates directly in your inbox!