How To Have a Lasting Marriage

When you said I do at the altar, what was your dream?

You felt love and hope that you and your spouse could have something special that would last decades, and then see the next generations take shape.

Your depth of love led you to take the step of faith and marry your spouse. To move forward and be a family creating new traditions, and new desires, and be the next wave of your family tree moving forward. 

“24. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 25. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭24‬-‭25‬

Oh yes, for anyone who is married or has been married, we all started out with a dream. In this dream, our marriage lasts.

But, over time, life happens and it’s easy to grow away from each other to only forget your dream or worse, you’re in a nightmare. 

Here’s what I believe, you can have a marriage that lasts. A marriage that stands the test of time while growing more in love with each other as you get older. A marriage that sees your desires and dreams come true through hardships, challenges, hard work, and of course, faith in Christ. 

This is not a fantasy but a reality we can have when we build our lives on Jesus. This is the secret to how our marriage lasts. It’s not us doing it by ourselves because we’ll mess it up. This happens through Christ being our foundation which then empowers us to be better not only individually but as a couple too.

“24. Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.”

Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭24‬-‭25‬

Notice, when we build our marriage on Jesus, we stand through the storms, the challenges, and more because of who we have in our lives!

So, here are three ways to have a marriage that lasts.

1st – Decide your marriage is built on Jesus. 

Meaning, His word, and His ways determine what we do, how we respond, and what we reach to be. This is huge because right now, everyone and every marriage are built on something. This could be money, sex, pleasure, happiness, status, fame, greed, and more. Some of these are not bad, they are just incomplete and not a foundation to build on. 

When I build my marriage on Jesus, I’m basing it on something that has lasted the test of time, and that will ensure longevity, growth, and purpose that bonds two people together. 

What is your marriage built on? If it’s not Jesus, please give Him your heart and give Him your marriage. It won’t be perfect, but it will last!

2nd – Choose to forgive. 

When we choose to forgive, we decide to not hold on to old things, but rather choose to be healed when we are hurt and reach for the new things that are ahead.

Forgiveness helps us move forward. When we don’t forgive, we are stuck. Forgiveness helps us to heal. When we don’t forgive, we are not healed. Forgiveness helps our marriage grow in love. When we don’t forgive, our love withers and grows cold. 

We choose to forgive because Jesus has forgiven us. This is not based on if someone deserves it, it’s based on what Christ did, and we do it because He gave it to us.

This singular decision can impact so many aspects of our marriages.

Please note, forgiveness does not mean trust. Meaning, I can forgive someone and not trust them at the same time. There’s no doubt there are moments where we choose to forgive our spouse, but trust needs to be rebuilt. When that’s the case, steps must be taken to help build trust and build credibility again.

3rd – Take time for each other.

Taking time for each other as a rhythm in our marriage is a great way to kindle our love for each other. Most couples do not have a regular date or time for themselves. This is a mistake, even though I know we are all busy with schedules, work, kids, and more. But, when we are intentional about having time for each other, the benefits are worth it.

For Sumer and I, our weekly date is mandatory in our schedule. We love being together, and it has become my favorite day of the week. 

Taking time for each other helps reconnect in conversation, romance, personal attention, and growing the bond we have. 

When we don’t take time for each other, we eventually will not connect in conversation, romance, personal attention, and the bond we have. 

I encourage you today, to take time for each other and make it a rhythm in your marriage. 

This isn’t magic and it won’t make it perfect. What it will do is help you consistently connect with each other, which will empower you to have a marriage that lasts. 

You can do this and your marriage can last.

When you said I do at the altar, what was your dream?

God has a dream for your marriage too and with Him, the best is yet to come!

PD