The Family Glue
We all learned about glue in elementary school. Every student had to bring it from the supplies list, and for our kids, we had to buy countless glue sticks to last the whole school year.
In those classrooms, we worked on various projects that required us to glue objects together, proudly displaying our creations during open houses or parent-teacher conferences.
But as we grew older, glue became less of a daily necessity. Now, we only use it for the occasional project or when helping our children.
However, within every family, there is an invisible but powerful glue that binds us together. This glue goes beyond blood—it builds lasting relational connections and impacts generations.
What is this glue?
It may surprise you, but when we understand it, we don’t just go through life as a family—we GROW through life together.
The Family Glue is conflict. That’s right—conflict.
Every family experiences conflict. The issue isn’t whether conflict arises, but how we handle it. Unfortunately, in today’s culture, we’re often encouraged to cut off those who disagree with us rather than seek understanding. This mindset is destructive to both society and families.
The good news is that Jesus provides us with the tools to navigate conflict in a way that strengthens, rather than divides, our relationships.
Conflict has the power to either tear a family apart or bind it together. The difference lies in how we approach it. When handled with love, patience, and wisdom, conflict opens the door to deeper understanding, clearer communication, and healthier love within our families.
Conflict has the power to either tear a family apart or bind it together.
Of course, the temptation is to isolate ourselves, fight unfairly, or demand our way. And while conflict comes in many forms and severities—some of which are beyond the scope of this blog—one thing is clear: neither God nor I condone abuse of any kind.
My focus here is to bring hope—hope that when handled in a healthy, God-centered way, conflict can be the glue that binds families together rather than breaking them apart.
When we see conflict as a one-way street—where one person wins and the other loses—we create gaps and disconnection. But when we embrace conflict as The Family Glue, we grow closer rather than drifting apart.
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Colossians 3:12-13
Notice that Jesus gives us new clothing to wear as we do life through Him. These spiritual garments shape how we interact with our families, especially in times of conflict.
Here are three things to consider about The Family Glue:
1. Wear Jesus’ Clothes
Colossians 3:12 urges us to clothe ourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Imagine navigating conflict with these qualities at the forefront of our minds, hearts, and words—our family relationships would transform!
Unfortunately, we often wear the wrong clothes—defensiveness, pride, selfishness, and impatience. I’ve been guilty of this more times than I can count, and each time, I’ve had to apologize and make things right. But when I’ve chosen the right “clothes,” it has led to deeper love and stronger connections.
What are you wearing in conflict? Jesus offers new clothes—we just have to put them on.
2. Make Allowance for Each Other’s Faults
Perfection should never be our goal—neither for ourselves nor our family members. Instead, our aim should be to learn how to handle conflict in a healthy, fair way. Making allowance for each other’s faults doesn’t mean condoning wrong behavior; it means creating space for growth and grace.
Healthy conflict resolution requires practice, and mistakes will happen along the way. But when we make room for each other’s imperfections, we build a foundation of forgiveness, transparency, and humility. We confront issues with love, say sorry when needed, and extend grace just as Christ has extended it to us.
How we handle conflict is a choice—will we follow Jesus’ way, or will we let conflict divide us? The health of our family depends on this decision.
3. Have a Plan
A plan for conflict sets us up for success by establishing boundaries, clarity, and expectations. Without one, tension, strife, and distance become the default.
Having a plan means discussing our triggers, needs, and ways to communicate effectively. Most families don’t do this, leading to unnecessary frustration and hurt. But there’s a better way, and it starts with intentionality.
I’m still learning this, and I know you can too. By choosing to grow through conflict, The Family Glue will strengthen your home with love, trust, and friendship.
Your family is worth it. God’s purpose for your family is worth it.
God bless you and your family,
PD
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