When __ gets better, my marriage will get better
Marriage! The institution God created that brings a male and female together to make them one. This process is NOT overnight and it’s probably one of the greatest challenges and opportunities of our lives.
The opportunity is the idea we have growing up being in love for a lifetime and making a generational impact.
However the challenge can be so great, that couples end their marriage and move on.
This is a reality we’ve seen and maybe have gone through, and Jesus sees us and understands. I believe no matter what we’re carrying or have gone through, He gives us grace and mercy.
“15. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 16. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
Hebrews 4:15-16
In the challenge of marriage it’s easy to think and say, “When my spouse gets better, our marriage will get better.”
While this can be true for many couples, it can also be a trap that causes individuals and marriages to be stuck too. It’s impossible to know the complexities of every couple’s struggle or dynamic.
There’s no doubt that many spouses carry the weight of both people and maybe more. These things are real and it’s my hope you have support and strength from friends and Jesus.
In saying that, I believe the right perspective for our lives and marriages is, “When I get better, my marriage will get better.”
Oh yes! Please keep reading!
No matter what our spouse is going through, we can choose to get better. We don’t have to wait till they get better to have growth or healing. Of course, when they get better it helps and healing does come from it.
But when we let the issues of others stop us from growing and getting better, we’re stuck. The good news is we don’t have to be.
Jesus will give us the courage to grow personally and the strength to love our spouse and stay planted in our commitment to them. Challenges will come and from them can come tremendous personal growth and the growth of your marriage.
The ideology of when I get better, my marriage will get better, puts the focus on what we can do better first.
The reality is, we all have something God is trying to work out of us. We all have something Jesus wants to refine. So, when I keep my focus on when I get better, my marriage will get better, and I’m faced with Jesus changing me.
The only person we can control is ourselves. Therefore, when I get better my marriage will get better. My life will get better. My attitude will get better. My thought-life will get better. My relationships will get better and my faith will be stronger.
We can live life believing when my spouse gets better, then my marriage will get better.
Or we can live believing, that when I get better my marriage will be better, and we start today making those adjustments.
So, here are two things we can do to move forward.
1st – Acknowledge areas God wants to heal and change in you.
Acknowledging is huge in being healed and changed. This is where it starts.
Over the years I’ve noticed that the greatest lie people tell is the one they tell themselves. This is a coping mechanism, but there’s a better way.
When we acknowledge and invite Jesus to change us, He comes in and begins to do His work in us. When we’re always pointing at other’s faults and issues, we’re deflecting from our own.
In the end, how we respond and navigate our own issues is the key to having an improvement in our lives.
What is Jesus wanting to heal and change in you?
Please let Him do it and work it out in you.
2nd – Receive accountability.
Hope doesn’t change our lives, but habits do.
Patterns and habits change when we receive accountability. The equation of healing in our lives is God + us + the right people = VICTORY!
We ALL need accountability when it comes to making changes in our lives. This of course includes our marriage and how we’re connecting with our spouse.
Marriages get better when both people get individually better and in doing that, they have accountability in making changes. This is the nuts and bolts of having a thriving love life that lasts decades.
Your marriage matters. Your family matters. Your life matters. God has planned for your family to thrive and make an impact that is both generational and eternal.
So, choose to let God make you better and see what happens next. He’s good and He’s faithful and the best is yet to come!
Have a great day and God is with you,
PD
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