A happy, elderly couple

The Secret To a Growing Marriage

The idea of what this means is relayed to us through childhood fairytales, Hollywood movies, and famous literature. You know, the true love that lives happily ever after.

When we see movies like this it resonates because we have an inherent desire for True Love.

God gave us this as He made male and female and brought them together in marriage. God made a family before He made the church. See Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭23-25‬.

We were made with the desire for True Love and it’s from God.

This is why we consistently get love stories on Lifetime, Hallmark, and Hollywood that we watch because deep down, we want it.

But the idea of having true love and the reality of what it takes, are two different things.

This causes disappointment as the fantasy doesn’t match reality. Have you been there?

Pastor Ed Young says it this way, “marriage is for our holiness, more than for our happiness.”

I believe God has True Love for us in our marriages, but the process to get there is less of us and more of Him. This is profound because our default is more of us and less of God.

In marriage, it’s serve me first, then I’ll serve you. This ideology brings frustration, struggle, and disconnect.

But God has something better. He has True Love that can be found through doing marriage His way. This is how we have what we’ve always wanted.

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.”

1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5‬:‭23‬

This verse contains the secret to a growing marriage and the practical steps to take toward this reality.

Notice how God wants to make us holy in our spirit, soul, and body. He can do this in us personally and in our marriages. Nurturing these three areas is BIG in having True Love.

So, here are the practical steps we can take toward having a growing marriage.

1st – Feed your spirit.

Feeding our spirit is feeding our faith. It’s prioritizing Jesus as the foundation of our marriages.

We do this by making church a part of family rhythm, which helps us to read the Bible every day and pray.

Furthermore, praying together as a married couple is profound. This is why so many couples struggle to do it. The enemy knows when we pray together we grow together, stay together, and touch God together.

Feeding our spirit helps us have a growing marriage that endures decades and leaves a legacy. When God comes first, our priorities are straight which helps us move forward.

If you’re not doing this currently, begin to pray with your spouse today!! God will move in it.

2nd – Nurture your soul.

The soul is our mind, will, and emotions. This is where the greatest battle is and it’s where we process everything in our lives. This is complicated but God can heal us and make us whole.

In our marriages, we must nurture our soul by staying connected through talking together, working together with what we want, and being vulnerable with our feelings.

That sentence is a lot because if we’re honest, it’s hard to do. But when we pray together, nurturing our souls becomes easier.

To do this requires intentionality.

When we are connected with our spouse in our soul, it’s dynamic. When we’re not, it’s defeating.

This is why talking together weekly helps set the tone for serving each other and being vulnerable too. The idea is not to have an emotional display every time we talk but rather to have the foundation that when it’s needed, it’s natural to do.

Are you talking weekly? Make time to nurture the soul. God heals us when we do this with our spouse.

3rd – Value your body.

God made sex and it’s a part of our connection in marriage. The Bible lays out for married couples to have an ongoing sex life. This is sacred, valuable, and needed.

We must not underestimate the value of sex in our marriage.

God wants our hearts open to our spouses and freely connecting sexually with each other. The devil wants you and I to close off our heart to our spouse and connect sexually in the wrong ways.

But notice that this is the third point. Because when we are connecting spiritually and nurturing our souls, sex is a normal and easy outlet.

Sex in marriage is holy, good, needed, and a part of True Love. We can enjoy this in every phase of our lives together and God intends that we do.

So, when it comes to sex, if we need healing from our past, Jesus can do it. If we’re navigating medical issues, there are resources to help us get through it. If we’re disconnected in our marriage, God can restart the passion. If we need to break off bad habits, Jesus will give us accountability to do it.

Determine to have a thriving sex life throughout your marriage!

All of this takes effort, but it’s how we have a growing marriage. Reach for God together and believe you can have True Love!

God bless your marriage and the best is yet to come,


Pastor David Norris

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