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Three-Sided Relationships

In any relationship that has value in our lives, arguments will happen. It’s a part of life. In fact, I believe that arguments reveal you’re going deeper than the surface, and from that, will come tension.

This doesn’t have to be bad, but rather it can be good as it gives opportunity to grow closer through these moments.

Unfortunately, conflict resolution is easier said than done, and for many, it’s the fracture that stops the relationship.

Friendships, marriages, teammates, coworkers and parenting all have their own dynamics; however, they all will require conflict resolution at some point. The question is, will we let the conflict bring growth in us, no matter what the other person does?

This is huge because we all have Three-Sided Relationships. 

There is our side, their side and God’s side. 

Above all of these, it’s best to be on God’s side because that’s where we are safe, healed and that is where we become better. However, our challenge is to get stuck on our side. 

Have you been there?

Of course, we all have, and furthermore, this is where we want to stay. It’s funny how an argument can bring out being stubborn, with not saying sorry and refusing to listen. But, no one is always right, and many times we’ve contributed, at some level, to the argument. 

But there’s good news, we can choose to be on God’s side and get it right, on how we treat ourselves and others.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”  

Colossians 3:13

Notice, we forgive others and make allowance for their faults, because we have been forgiven and God is patient with us. 

This is BIG because we don’t forgive based on if they deserve it, if they say sorry, if they make it right, or if they do what we want. No, we forgive because we have been forgiven by God. 

It’s important to know that being on God’s side doesn’t mean you’re always right and that God is going to get the other person. That’s not what this is about. 

It does mean that we treat people the way God wants us to, and at times, we let go of being right, to get it right.

So how does being on God’s side look in our relationships?

First, we forgive others. We refuse to hold onto grudges, and we let go of what has happened. 

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t confront or have open and hard conversations. These have to happen. 

It does mean that we forgive no matter how the other person responds, and we’re willing to get it right, verses being right and holding onto what has happened. 

Is there anyone you can forgive today? 

If yes, I encourage you to move forward and let Jesus help unpack this to let it go.

Second, make it right with others. Being on God’s side means, we say sorry and acknowledge when we’ve done something wrong. It’s not Godly to ignore our part, to make excuses, or to refuse to apologize. That’s just mean. 

When God is leading us, we’ll say sorry, we’ll be humble and work on our stuff, while realizing, we have things to work on.  

It’s vital that we always make it right with others, and from this we’ll be at peace with ourselves and have a clean conscience. 

There have been a lot of people from my past that I’ve apologized to for my own conscience to be clean. It didn’t matter how they responded, it mattered that I took the step, and from it, I received more healing.

“Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some, people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked.” 

1 Timothy 1:19

Third, treat others right. How we treat others is a big deal to God. He remembers it, and it speaks to potential blessings or struggle. 

“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”

Hebrews 6:10

This means we do what we say, we tell the truth, we’re fair, we’re upfront, and we’re loving. We don’t react, but rather we respond when things are tense, and we do our best to build bridges with others. 

This is how we want others to treat us; therefore, we set the tone and operate this way, every time. Whether we get it back or not, we set the tone by choosing to be on God’s side. 

Whose side are you on today? 

Your side has points, their side has points, but God’s side has healing. His side has protection, and his side causes us to get it right verses being right.

Sometimes it’s more important to get it right verses being right. Far too often we’re focused on who is going to win the argument, while not seeing we’re losing the bigger battle within ourselves.

Go with God, He will not fail. And if the relationship doesn’t continue, God will. If it doesn’t make it, God will help you make it. If it doesn’t go your way, go God’s way, it’s the best route you can take. 

I encourage you, choose to be on God’s side and let his work show up in you and in your relationships.

The best is yet to come,


Pastor David Norris

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